Jose Ramos (Fire Lord Ozai)

Poses: Vacuum

Applied to 3 different dentist offices to see if I can get braces, fillings, and a cleaning done using MassHealth. Now I just have to wait. I also emailed and called the DTA so I can get my email changed and password reset for the app. I need the DTA Connect app to send proof that I cleared my warrant. The lady told me she was busy with training and would call me back, that was over an hour ago.

I’m going to play more Switch today, it calms me and makes me feel rewarded. I look forward to when I have some cash coming in and I can play games I prefer. I signed up for Switch Online although I have no money, I’ll pay back the balance soon. I’m a bit drained, I think I’ll apply to more jobs tomorrow. Target said there was not an open position for me, that sucks. Calling GameStop in a few hours, hope that goes well. I would be good at that job.

There are 4 new female workers at the shelter from when I was there a year ago and they all like to scream and be rude. I try to behave myself, but they confront me sometimes with an attitude or a sneer and I have to respond or risk losing my place to sleep. Today I was told I couldn’t come in until 3pm so I left and tried to get a government phone. I ended up not being able to get the phone today, I need an income verification letter from the DTA. When that was all done I went in at 3:20 and they said I couldn’t come in until 4. I told them I was getting a phone and they said “Why didn’t you come tell us?”. I didn’t answer, but I thought four things: 1. You came out and saw me doing that and 2. I was too busy doing it to come tell you, 3. I just did tell you, just now and 4. Is it really any of your business what I do throughout my day? If they read my blog they would know I’m working out twice a day, looking for work, getting DMH services, DTA services, Mass health, looking for therapy, medical, dental and eye care. I’m busy and irritable, I don’t like to go to where I sleep to be nagged, harassed and threatened to be kicked out arbitrarily.

I keep getting ab spasms when I hit the vacuum pose. I want a better camera to take pose pics, this phone doesn’t do me justice.

Have a blessed day and I hope your dreams come true.

Hardcore Gamer

Started the day with a workout, chest and back. I start every morning with a work out. I’m in the gym within an hour of waking up. The morning is the least busy and I love that. Just finished my evening workout, abs and lower back. It went okay, but It’s harder to reach that intensity I want in the gym because too many people. I’ve been super setting and I come back to people on my machine or weight. Ruins my whole flow, I get too much rest and lose my pump. This is a standard gym though so what can I expect.

Spent the whole day at the library playing on my Nintendo Switch. I downloaded demos, free to play online games and watched YouTube videos and reviews. I have a wishlist of games I want to play and I’m really leaning towards shooters and survival games. I also love MOBAs and am playing arena of valor. I wanted to get overwatch 2, but it takes up almost all my storage space. It’d be great to play a game’s entire campaign or story mode with a friend or two online.

Not much happened today so I’ll keep it short. Have a blessed day and I hope all your hopes are fulfilled.

Mandatory poses

The Sabbath

Spent the day with mom. Took me to church, said it was an hour and a half. Church was 3 hours and I nodded off towards the end. The music was good, energy high and I liked that there was always a translator for English or Spanish.
We went grocery shopping at an Asian market, then Stop and Shop. Market basket has better prices and better sushi, but Stop and Shop had more variety of protein products. I got another tub of Muscle Milk protein powder without finishing my first tub. I’ll add them both into the new container, it’ll be heavier, but space efficient.

I’ve been craving a game for the phone so I played some Mobile Legends: Bang Bang, it’s a MOBA. I want to play Terraria on the phone, but more importantly I want to play games on a computer. I discovered a game called Project Zomboid where you have to survive a zombie apocalypse. The game is reported to be hard, very complex and allows multiplayer co-op.

A computer game.

I got my Switch back from my mom. I have two versions of Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity. I intend to sell one copy on eBay and send some money to my mom. I’ll use the rest for Terraria or Minecraft. I like a laid back game where I can create bases, towns, homes, any structures I want. It’s getting late and I’m always tired so have a blessed day as always and I hope you get out of life what you want.

YouTube video marathon

Stayed in the shelter all day and watched videos on Facebook and YouTube. Made a trip through the snow and slush to Market Basket for high protein food, still have at least 5 pouches of tuna left. Created a profile on JapanCupid, Bumble and MeetUp to make new friendships and relationships. Created a character for DnD on an app, although I have nowhere to use it yet. That’s about it, today was uneventful. I plan to get my switch from my mom tomorrow for something to do on the weekends. Tons of games I plan to get, but that’s a conversation for another day.

Have a blessed day and hope your dreams come true.

Dattebayo

Spent the day with my mom. DTA needs proof that I cleared my warrant so she drove me down to Dorchester to get a paper from the courthouse proving that. Then we went to get gas, she drove about 10 miles to a gas station among a group of 3 with cheap gas under $3 a gallon. We were in the middle of nowhere, then I asked for Taco Bell and she drove 10 more miles to a Taco Bell. I didn’t believe there was one in the direction she was going because it was taking so long so I bet her $10 there wasn’t. She won the bet and I got my crunch wrap supreme meal with a Baja blast. Baja blast is amazing, I love it. That was my cheat meal for the week, not including the KFC chicken we had last time.

Due to feeling fatigued during my last workout and feeling drained all the time I took off from the gym. Just went in to tan and use the massage chair. I should’ve went in the sauna, but I really didn’t want to. I went out early to a store called Jay’s and grabbed a bunch of food for the day. The EBT machine didn’t work and I left with nothing, but bad feelings. Someone recognized my shoes or glasses and deduced that I had just left jail recently. I had to walk 20 minutes to grab breakfast from Market Basket and by then I definitely knew I wasn’t working out today. The meal I had was sushi and Muscle Milk. I also bought 8 pouches of tuna, a box of health bars, another Muscle Milk and 2 Powerades.

Before my mom dropped me off we went to Walmart in Tewkesbury. Yeah I know, silly name, welcome to Massachusetts. She bought me sweatpants, which I love, a watch, that I love, and a Naruto t-shirt, that I LOVE! I also found out that protein powder is covered by EBT in some places(one of these places being Tewkesbury Walmart), that’s a huge win and game changer.

I called one of the places I applied for and we set up a time to meet next week Wednesday.

My mom would not let me leave without forcing me to do my laundry. We went to spin city laundromat and busted that out. Then I mentioned a movie theater nearby and she offered to buy me a ticket. We drove down, but on the way I found that the movie I wanted to watch (kimetsu no yaiba to the swordsmith village) was too late in the day to watch and get back to the shelter before they locked the doors. The two other movies worth watching, Creed 3 and Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, just didn’t excite me as much as Demon Slayer. So I chose not to settle and got dropped off at the library where I watched bodybuilding videos. I’ve also been watching videos of fights from Kengan Ashura. I’m in the middle of one right now and will finish after I post this blog. It’s Ohma versus Hatsumi Sen.

Have a blessed day and I hope life offers you everything you want. Until next time.

Spaghetti legs

I did not post on my blog yesterday, I am so sorry. I was extremely tired from lack of sleep and was in a fog all day.
I got my EBT card today with food stamps yay 😁. My first meal was spicy salmon sushi rolls from Market Basket and blue Powerade. I also bought 5 tuna pouches and 2 40g protein chocolate Muscle Milk. Those are all in my bag in the locker.
My skin is just about dark enough for now. Soon I will be tanning only to maintain my color. My mom has been complaining to me about how much I tan, she’s worried I’ll get skin cancer. Don’t worry ma, I’m the right color now.
2 employers rejected my application without an interview and one employer gave me a virtual recorded interview with prewritten questions. I enjoyed the interview process and felt that I gave a good and authentic portrayal of myself. I don’t like being super cheery in these things because that’s not a sustainable habit. I’d rather they found out I’m kind of apathetic, but kind now rather than later.
I have an hour until my next activity, yoga. I could go to the shelter and get a meal as they are serving dinner right now, but that’s just too much walking. I’m in the locker room of Choice Fitness in Lowell, eating StarKist tuna pouches with a spoon. My phone is hooked up to an outlet on the wall. I drank my last Muscle Milk 40g protein in the shower just now. I don’t think I’m getting enough calories in a day to grow, although my weight seems stable and my body is changing shape. Now that I have food stamps I can really start to grow and hopefully this job comes through for me.
I spend almost all my entire days alone and not speaking much. I mostly just call my mom and have reached out to a few friends over Facebook. I’m increasingly thinking I should get a gym partner, a swolemate and dedicated spotter. Watched a video by Dorian Yates and one from Arnold suggesting to have another person there to help you push yourself and hit true muscle failure. I don’t know how I can find someone like that, a lot of the people in this gym seem to be kinda just lifters. A general lifter that’s not specialized in powerlifting, bodybuilding, CrossFit, or Olympic lifts among others kinds.

Here’s the link to Arnold’s video:
https://youtu.be/QcM9CZMMDkU

And here’s the link to the video by Dorian Yates(6x Mr.Olympia champion):
https://youtu.be/hggkrZF-Bpw

Did yoga. The inside and outside of my legs are screaming. I worked them today, abductors and adductors. I want big, fully developed legs.

Anyways I’m wiped. The days blur into each other and I get progressively more exhausted as the week goes on. I might take a 3 day weekend from the gym, I’m feeling like I might need it. Hope life is well and you are reaching all your goals. Have a blessed day/night, until next time.

Gonna be a long night

Today I set up my online presence (Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, etc) to help drive traffic to my blog. I also looked into SNHU(College), applied to a manager position at Dollar General and applied to volunteer as an English tutor for those whom English is a second language. The volunteer position is through the library in Lowell, Pollard Memorial.
I use an app called Habitica to plan things and reward myself for accomplishing daily goals and tasks. It’s set up like an RPG for your life with parties, guilds and a tavern to chat with others. Check it out. I also use all the Google apps like maps, translate, calendar, Gmail and docs. The rough drafts of my blog posts usually take place in Google docs. For fitness I use an app called FitBod and Hevy to plan, execute and track my workouts. Konnichiwa watashi wa hose Desu. Hello my I’m Jose. Duolingo is great for having fun while learning languages, it’s where I practice Japanese as well as JapanesePod101 for fun videos, a variety of courses, resources and teachers.
Did yoga today for muscle flexibility and recovery. It went great and we worked on the muscles I had just trained. By the time it was done it the shelter was open and I got to go straight inside without waiting outside, but unfortunately my cot is in a hallway because the shelter is full and people repeatedly bump into my cot. It’s going to be a long night. Wish me the best.

Found an anime called How heavy are the dumbbells you lift? I’m excited to watch it.

Machio from *How heavy are the dumbbells you lift?*

I am clay

Awake at 3:30am. This is why I’m so tired throughout the day and nod off in church. Slept 6 hours and had a dream I had a girlfriend that cheated on me. I dreamt that I finally dumped her and yelled “Back to the streets” at her. Haha making important life decision in my sleep.
Went to the DTA office to apply for food stamps and cash benefits. They’ll contact me in the next few days. Right now I’m eating at the shelter and with money my mom sends me. There are food pantries and soup kitchens I plan to go to. I got complimented that I look big at the DTA office, I appreciate that and it’s a definite self esteem boost.
I maxed out for squat and deadlift today. There were two gorgeous Asian lifters next to me, one day I’ll have the confidence to speak to beautiful women and be put together enough to have something to offer, for now I grind and focus. My squat was 315 and deadlift was 335. Both lifts lost 20 pounds from before I went to jail.
Tanned, sauna, massage chair, all that good stuff. I’m waiting outside the shelter to go in and eat. I’m not getting much darker although I’ve tanned about 3 times, but my skin does look healthier 😃. The sun is out today, although so is the snow on the ground.
My mom is coming to bring me to the DMH office so I can get services. I’ve tried to work countless jobs and can only seem to last half a year at any one place (If I’m lucky). I need help and I want a career change or start lol. I plan to sign up for the semester of Southern New Hampshire University online starting in May. I’ll probably take a Japanese class as I’m already studying that daily on Duolingo and JapanesePod101.com.
I was looking at bodybuilding Competitions in Massachusetts as I’m still on probation for another year. I need $80 to register as an INBF amateur. I’ll do a competition as soon as I’m comfortable and then another one or two to figure out a routine. Then I’ll probably compete yearly or every half year so I have time to grow. As of right now I do not have a good shape to me and my lifts are rather low. I need to increase my power so I can increase my mass.
This is my physique right now, my starting point. I am a piece of clay to be molded. I used to have curly hair and I plan to get it back. I’d also like thick stubble rather than a short beard. The glasses, maybe a pair a bit more feminine.

Sleepy Sunday

I tanned for 15 minutes, it felt like less. As I was starting to fall asleep the machine shut off. I’m not seeing much of an increase in skin tone after 2 sessions, but my skin does look healthier.

I stayed in the sauna for 30 minutes, as usual. Watched funny workout videos on YouTube, OE Fitness and super hero videos like Superman being possessed by Trigon to fight Darkseid. When I got out the locker room was super cold. I took a shower after because I read that showering helps maintain a tan. Drank my protein shake and creatine. The creatine tastes horrendous in just water. It’s Creakong creatine and Muscle Milk protein powder. The shelter I live in used to give me a hard time about my supplements because it could be confused with drugs and people do a lot of drugs here. Now they just look at it and let me in with it in my bag. Makes life so much easier.

Found out that my gym, Choice Fitness, has massage chairs. This will change my post workout routine and help me recover. This gym is pretty good for my needs to bodybuild, sauna, massage chair, yoga, and I’m going to routinely take hot showers now. I have a cyst on my tailbone that stays away if I keep it warm, the shower water softens it too which is great.

Went to First United Baptist church, but unfortunately I haven’t been sleeping well since leaving jail. I was taking Clonedine in jail and getting the best sleep of my life. I repeatedly nodded off despite my best efforts to stay awake. I heard the sermon though and really liked it, it was about temptation and how Jesus resisted the devil after 40 days of fasting. They run the service for church in person and online, there was some kind of gathering after, but I was too tired and opted to try to get some sleep. I haven’t slept yet.

A buddy of mine reached out to me and we decided to hangout today, except he never showed up. I tried the massage chair while I waited for him and spent some time in the sauna too. I called, texted and messaged him on Facebook, but he never replied. I saw throughout the day that he was online, so I decided I don’t need a friend like that and blocked his number and Facebook. No hard feelings, I just don’t like to have my time wasted and then be avoided.

Being homeless can be tough. It can be lonely. People assume things about you that may not be true and treat you differently based on those prejudices. Being homeless drains rather than restores your willpower after working all day. Imagine busting your ass for a job and then struggling to find food or to get clean or sleep decently. Being homeless is like having the entirety of your society aligned against you. The police, hospitals, citizens and other homeless have done more harm to me than I ever would have expected. Hopefully I’ll overcome this situation and those people. Thank you for reading, have a blessed day/night.

Life after a year in jail

I’m reinventing myself as a bodybuilder, writer, college student and Japanese citizen after my year in jail. I wrote 16 flash fiction stories in jail and 140 pages of a novel titled ‘Shadow Moses’ (I’m not sure if I’m going to complete that story as keeping interest in writing is tough, but I don’t know what else I want to do with my life). I’ve been a wrestler, cage fighter, line cook, landscaper, supplementary instructor and have worked dozens of temp jobs. I did bodybuilding for a year when I was about 21 (8 years ago) and found that I was pretty good at it despite never competing. I’ll be competing this time and see how far I can get without steroids and then maybe how far I can get with them.
My name is Jose Ramos, I live in Lowell MA and being locked up sucked. I have some mental health problems and tried to kill myself and my mother in 2021, causing me to catch my first case and end up on probation for 3 years. Then 6 months into probation I had a mental breakdown and attacked a police officer. That is what led me to spending a year in jail.
I have always been into anime and video games, a weeb. After having tried to kill myself I decided I’d do the things I’ve always wanted to do including go to Japan. I’m currently studying how to speak Japanese and when probation is up I plan to live and possibly study in Japan.
For now I just want to get the basic facts of my life established and I plan to dive deeper into my experiences such as wrestling, time in jail, and share some of my flash fiction and daily routines as well as my bodybuilding progress.
Welcome to my life, hope you enjoy and wish me luck.