Awake at 3:30am. This is why I’m so tired throughout the day and nod off in church. Slept 6 hours and had a dream I had a girlfriend that cheated on me. I dreamt that I finally dumped her and yelled “Back to the streets” at her. Haha making important life decision in my sleep.
Went to the DTA office to apply for food stamps and cash benefits. They’ll contact me in the next few days. Right now I’m eating at the shelter and with money my mom sends me. There are food pantries and soup kitchens I plan to go to. I got complimented that I look big at the DTA office, I appreciate that and it’s a definite self esteem boost.
I maxed out for squat and deadlift today. There were two gorgeous Asian lifters next to me, one day I’ll have the confidence to speak to beautiful women and be put together enough to have something to offer, for now I grind and focus. My squat was 315 and deadlift was 335. Both lifts lost 20 pounds from before I went to jail.
Tanned, sauna, massage chair, all that good stuff. I’m waiting outside the shelter to go in and eat. I’m not getting much darker although I’ve tanned about 3 times, but my skin does look healthier 😃. The sun is out today, although so is the snow on the ground.
My mom is coming to bring me to the DMH office so I can get services. I’ve tried to work countless jobs and can only seem to last half a year at any one place (If I’m lucky). I need help and I want a career change or start lol. I plan to sign up for the semester of Southern New Hampshire University online starting in May. I’ll probably take a Japanese class as I’m already studying that daily on Duolingo and JapanesePod101.com.
I was looking at bodybuilding Competitions in Massachusetts as I’m still on probation for another year. I need $80 to register as an INBF amateur. I’ll do a competition as soon as I’m comfortable and then another one or two to figure out a routine. Then I’ll probably compete yearly or every half year so I have time to grow. As of right now I do not have a good shape to me and my lifts are rather low. I need to increase my power so I can increase my mass.
This is my physique right now, my starting point. I am a piece of clay to be molded. I used to have curly hair and I plan to get it back. I’d also like thick stubble rather than a short beard. The glasses, maybe a pair a bit more feminine.
FireLordOzai 